May 22, 2007

Liblog: Doors

When Libera go on tour, we go on tour in style! We travel behind tinted windows and we stay in luxury hotels. It's great! For one week only we are treated to enormous flat-screen televisions with countless channels, showers more powerful than weapons of mass destruction and the luxury of heated toilet seats. However, in the eyes of the boys these things count for very little. This is not because they are spoilt or because they've seen it all before. This is purely because hotels only mean one thing to the young Liberas – revolving doors!

Revolving doors have some kind of magnetic control over Libera boys. None can possibly be responsible for his actions in the presence of a revolving door. At first sight the eyes widen in sheer delight, followed by a beaming grin, then the fingers start to twitch with excitement until eventually, with a sudden burst of energy, the performer is propelled headlong into the door frame. There are no exceptions, not even the quietest of Libera boys can resist the powers of a revolving door. No amount of self-control can suffice - even the most well behaved boy of the bunch becomes instantly reunited with his mischievous side at the first sight of a revolving door.

Typically a hotel might have seven or eight entrances, including one central revolving door. Typically twenty Libera boys decide that the only route out of the hotel is via the revolving door. (What's a five-star hotel without a revolving door?) Instantly the lobby is thrown into a sense of disarray. People stop and stare as twenty miniature-people ambush the revolving door screaming shrill squeals of delight. The revolving door quickly spirals out of control contending with the speed of light. All aboard the revolving door rollercoaster! Halflings cling on for dear life (still grinning inanely). All eyes turn in the direction of the horrified lobby porter as gleeful  Liberas  are thrown in all directions. The mission is not to exit the hotel (as one might expect), but rather to maintain control of the exit for as long as possible without missing the coach and getting left behind. Typically, the somewhat simple procedure of exiting the hotel (which should take a matter of seconds), can take up to three working days.